Otto Lingafelt: Out of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best! Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience."Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pantsand all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents"Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?""Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!what do you call a dead blonde in the closet?last year's hide-n-seek winner. The blonde couldn't call 911 because she couldn't find the 11 button on the phone.What does the blonde say when she walks up to the YMCA? " Look they spelt MACYS wrong " Two blondes, Samantha and Sarah somehow ! locked their keys inside of their car. Sarah was trying to unlock the door with a coat hanger, because a storm was coming. Samantha said, "Hurry up Sarah, it's starting to rain and the roof of our convertible is down!" so there is a blond a redhead and a brunette, they are in trouble for something and are going to be shot. They are in line waiting for their turn to die when it is the brunette's turn. She yells hurricane!!! everybody looks and she runs away saving herself, then it is the redhead's turn, she yells tornado!!!! everybody looks and she runs away escaping her death. Now it is the blonde's turn, she yells fire! and they shoot. Great NewsMy wife who is blonde came running up to me in the driveway the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She! stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumpin! g up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!" Then, she said "Oh, honey, There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby.We are going to Have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!" A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles her in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her. Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, 'Miss, I'm sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you're seated in first class; I'm afraid you'll have to move.' The blonde replies! , 'I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model.'Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely,'I'm sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you'll have to move back.'The blonde replies, sweetly, 'I'm Blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model' -- and shows no signs of moving. Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he'll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first class. Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde's ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment. Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, 'Captain, I'm impressed ... what did you say to her?' The captain grinned slyly and said, 'I just told her t! hat the first class cabin doesn't go to New York.' Ok well once there w! as a blonde a little low on money so she decided to Hire herself out for some handy work. So the next day she walked to a rich neighbor hood and went up to a house. When the man answered she said "do you need and jobs done My rate is 50 dollars " he replied Yes, Yes I do I need this porch painted The supplies our in the shed So she set to work! Then the mans wife asked do you think she knows it is a wrap around porch He said She should she was standing on it! So A few minutes later she came to the door and said all done And The man was like Already! Yep she replied and I had a little extra paint so i did it twice. He said ok and Paid her 50 dollars and as she was leaving she said oh yah and sir it is a Ferrai Not an Porshe!! A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red-Head just recently commited a crime, and they were running from the cops. They decided to hide in an abandoned house. While the brunette and red-head hid in the most clever and witty spots ever, the blonde actually walked! around with the cops (who are blondes, also) inside the house looking for the other criminals. They all realize that they should capture her, as did the criminal blonde earlier. 20 minutes later, the cops find the blonde hiding in the back-seat of the cop car.........Show more
Ollie Hamiel: Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday. Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. You can't, they have always been like that. Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat? A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make? A. A wind tunnel. Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner. Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish? A. She drowns it. Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her righ! t leg?A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.Q. How does ! a blonde part their hair?A. By doing the splits.Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?A. Nothing, they haven't met!Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?A. Humpme Dumpme.Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?A. More leg-room!Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?A. They chip their teeth.Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?A. Fertilized.Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?A. More headroom.Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?A. Because everyone gets a turn.Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?A. Frosted Flakes.Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?A. An airbag.Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a ba! d day?A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?A. Bobbing for chips.Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***?A. Brain tumor....Show more
Caterina Yeargan: i love blonde jokes to!!=D lol
Alberto Kozub: Not a Big Blonde joker, but I have some jokes that I think are personally funny. There are differnet types of jokes.Chuck Norris invented water."...And God said let there be light..." But Chuck Norris said "...Say Please..."Chuck Norris pea'd in a can... we now know that as as Red Bull.--------Q.How many Jews can you fit in a car?A.2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 200 in the ashtray.------Yo mama so hairy, she make Chewbacca look bald!Yo mama teeth so parted, I don't whether to smile! or to kick a field goal!-----"Knock Knock" "Who's There?""Go F*** Your! self"...Show more
Roland Stampley: why are dumb blonde jokes one liners??So dumb men can understand!
Launa Weingarten: Did you hear about the blonde getaway driver? After the bank heist, she phoned one of her accomplices to report that she thought that she had gotten away safely, but there was a police car behind her. "Are his lights on?" the accomplice asked. She looked in the rear-view mirror again. "No", she replied, "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no ............"
Rick Duchane: New StewardessAn airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.! She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"...Show more
Gladys Worthing: o my word! i SOOO agree w/ southbelldixie! i hate blond jokes theyre retarded and not true. but i think it should be this- why are blond jokes one liners? so BRUNETTES can understand them! HAHA.
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